Not a mama

Being stuck on a family vacation right before going back to school is not my idea of a dream vacation, but it did serve as an excellent distraction from the doom that follows next week.

Off to Disney World for three days of theme park fun …

I am sure that my family felt like they had three children on the trip rather than two 4-year-olds. I sometimes act a little immature.

Total sensory overload …

We decided to make the best of our trip and hit three theme parks in three days. Day 1: Animal Kingdom, Day 2: Magic Kingdom, Day 3: Epcot.

It was a good time for everyone as long as we kept the boys happy. On the last day of the trip, it was apparent that my system was in meltdown from a total sensory overload. When my brain malfunctions, I get moody. My family figured out the answer to set me back on track: feed Jennifer beer. I was fine after downing a few of Epcot’s flavors.

Highlights from the trip …

4 year olds are smart. They know how to manipulate daddy and mommy into stopping every 15 minutes on a 12-hour car ride. Start crying and shout that you need to pee now! Half the time we stopped they decided they didn’t have to pee anymore. They also claimed other stuff when the pee trick quit working. They had to go “poopy” or “my feet hurt,” “my back hurts.” It was always something.


Me and my mom in our lovely glasses for the Bug's Life show.

Don’t take 4 year olds to see the Bug’s Life show in the Animal Kingdom. They will scream and cry and punch you until you take them out. In fact, avoid any dark rides with anything that could be slightly scary to kids.

Kids don’t take naps on Disney vacations, so be prepared for some major crankiness. Truthfully, my nephews are angels compared to some of the kids I have seen over the years, but I learned that I don’t have the patience to be a mama. I will stick with being an aunt and hope they will take care of me when I am old.


Look at my cute pirate nephews!

The Pirate Club may be $30 a kid, but the experience is definitely worth the money. My nephews loved dressing up like pirates and getting to go on stage of a pirate show. It was really cute.

When you have two major snorers sleeping in a hotel room with you, the best thing to do is to curl up in a sleeping bag in the hallway. Your back may hurt by the end of the trip, but it is worth it to escape the cow sounds coming from the other rooms.

January is an awesome time to visit Orlando. The weather is about 75 degrees … perfect for a T-shirt and jeans. The afternoon showers common in the summer months are in remission for the season. The crowds are light. I think the longest line we waited in was 25 minutes for the Haunted Mansion.

Make use of the fast pass! This saved us long lines on some of the more popular rides.

Disney is fun …

In conclusion, Disney is an exciting place for the whole family, but it takes a lot of patience to be on a family vacation with 7 people. My suggestion is to stock up on liquor and beer. Oh, and be prepared for a total sensory overload!!

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2 Responses to Not a mama

  1. Jen says:

    Sounds like a pretty accurate summary of the trip. Good job:)
    ps–people think its funny when i tell them that my sister-in-law got to sleep in the hallway! (well, at least it was a private hallway, right?- even if you did get stepped on during midnight potty runs…)

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