Have you ever been so sick that you actually felt life would be more bearable in death? You think I am being a drama queen? Ha! Maybe just a little, but I am seriously experiencing some of the most excruciating pain of my life. This time it is purely physical pain.
What is this sickness I speak of? Do you really want to know me that personally?
Try letting a bladder infection go for several days without treatment. Guess what happens? Yep … eventually it travels through the urinary tract and stops right in your body’s most precious organs … the KIDNEYS.
For anyone who knows me intimately (not in that way, you sick pervs), there are two things that I like more than anything … BEER and RUNNING. So, having to give up my precious beer for the last week was miserable enough. Today, I got brave and decided I would run. I refused to stop at the mileage I originally set for myself. Instead, I kept going and going … like the energizer bunny.
Can you guess the outcome? Eleven miles later I was feeling fine … so fine that I decided to take a shopping trip immediately after the gym. Would you believe that it ended with me puking in the parking lot of the Dollar General? Ha! I am sure that the folks frequenting there were used to my kind, but seriously … that is disgustingly ridiculous. What was I thinking? Yep, and all the pain I had almost rid my body of came rushing back in a matter of hours. Here I am taking pain pills again like day 1. Stupid, stupid girl. I suppose I might as well seal the deal and pop open a beer. Why the hell not??
If you are human, you are probably too stupid to listen to advice (as I so lovingly proved) that it is pointless to offer a moral for such a sad tale. But, please, please, dress like a zombie or grim reaper if you decide to show up to my funeral. Oh, and totally pee on my coffin … it is a sign of respect and something that I wish I could do if my kidneys would cooperate …