Behind the mask

Ashamed, regretful, mortified, embarrassed … 

I can’t think of enough words to describe a recent event in my life. And, sadly, it is so horrific that I am forbidden to speak about it in any clear terms. Don’t worry … no one died or was harmed during this “secret event” … unless you consider a total destruction of my self image to be harmful …

My colorful mask …

When my self image hits a huge low, I am forced to reach upon one of the colorful masks from my past. I usually pick a mask that conceals all emotions and inner turmoil because it is too difficult for people to see the real feelings buried deep within my dark soul.

For the few people who know my dark secret, do not be surprised if I laugh and smile and pretend that nothing has happened. Sometimes not dealing with painful situations is the best way for me to deal with them … if that even makes any sense …

Can I even look in the mirror?

Probably not, but I plan to do everything and anything I can to make my face worth seeing again.

Reaching for a limb …

It is time to take up competitive running. I need to run races, join running clubs and do what it takes to drown myself in the happy and healthy habit of running. I will start with a few 5 and 10ks, but maybe I can work my way towards running a half marathon! I just finished a book all about the glorious training for such an exciting event. Yay me! Way to make a castle out of a shitty situation!

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