An ode to toilet paper

How can a person completely waste an entire day off from work thinking about toilet paper? I have asked myself that question today on several occasions. It is just the answer always comes back to … toilet paper.

Toilet paper … it has so many wonderful uses.

You can use it to wipe your butt. You can use it to stop a leaky mess. You can use it when your nose starts to run. If you think about it, toilet paper can be used for almost anything.

But why, people?

Why haven’t we invented something of better use … something that we can use less of and not have to run out to the store and buy every time we wipe? And, why is it the last thing we remember to buy when we go shopping so that we find ourselves always having to make an emergency run to the store when we run out?

I am mad at toilet paper for wasting so much of my time today and making me think about the fact that I am too lazy to go get it from the store. Oh, but Mr. Toilet Paper, the joke is on you … I will get you. I will obtain you somehow. You will come home with me somehow tonight. We just have to figure out a solution to get you to me in some fashion. Lucky for you … I have a Christmas party to attend tonight. If I am lucky, one of the Dirty Santa gifts could be a nice unused roll of you. Oh yeah. I will keep my eye on the prize … toilet paper, here I come! Ultra softness …

This entry was posted in Random. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply