The minute I create a goal I go after it with 100% drive and determination. As a result, I get burned out quickly and my interest fades away in the distance altering the original plan.
I often wonder how my life would be different if I was able to give some of my goals only 25% exertion at the start. Would I follow them through to completion?
I look at the decisions I made in life and the turns I have taken on my path to greatness. I had so many dreams that were lost in my short attention span.
Where would I be if I was not here at this moment?
What would be different if I had followed one or more of my life plans? Would I be a photographer on a cruise ship sailing to Alaska? Would I be hitchhiking my way through the world? Would I be a navigator in the Air Force? Would I be a famous writer with a best selling novel? Would I be involved in the production of horrible B movies? Would I still be a journalist?
All I know is that I am here now. My experiences made me who I am. They molded me into a strange creature of great weirdness. I am not sure if I would be the me I am now if I took a different path. I wish that life offered us a DVD full of different choices and a brief preview of how our lives would be if we continued down each path. What if I made the wrong choice? What if I was meant to go right when I went left?
I know it is bad to play the “what if?” game, but I can’t help but wonder.
Life is so strange. We only get one chance. If we screw up, we have to deal with the mess we created. We can’t just go back and try something else. Unfortunately, life isn’t like “Groundhog Day” or “Run Lola Run.” I really wish it was … I would love to go back and try something else and be stuck in a time warp until I get it right. I wish destiny and fate intervened, but I am starting to have my doubts about their existence.
All I know is that this is my life whether it is the right one for me or not. This is me. This is where I am.