You are in the grocery store buying a stack of hot pockets to enjoy on your dinners alone in your stuffy apartment when suddenly you crash into someone else’s cart. Embarrassed, you consider running in the opposite direction and fleeing from the store. You decide to sneak a glance at the unlucky party.

To your surprise, the carts magically part and everything besides you and this other person fades away in the distance. The entire store begins to brighten as if the sun has come out from behind clouds. Everyone in the store begins to gather in the aisles singing songs of love. Your eyes are locked with the person steering the other cart. You are both in a trance. It is love at first sight.

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I keep dreaming of furniture …

Furniture is furniture! Can’t I dream about something better?

It is not often that I have a recurring dream. So, I think that if I am going to have one that it should at least have more significance than a stupid furniture dream. I am really disappointed in my lack of imagination and thought in Hope dreamland.

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I need to invent the ultimate car tracking device for people like me who lose their cars several times a day.

It never fails – I lose my car whether I go in a store for 5 minutes or 3 hours. I can make mental notes of where I am parked, but all thoughts are abandoned once I set foot in a store.

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He is not the smartest or the strongest. He is not the dumbest or the weakest. He is average on all standards.

He has red hair framing a face decorated with freckles. He is probably the clumsiest man alive, but no matter what you say …

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Screams of terror fill the room. I make eye contact with the creature. Where is it from and how did it get here?

The room fills with silence as my eyes refocus and find a hint of familiarity. It is only me. I splash water on my face and can clearly see the outline of what appears to be me. Yes, I have fallen victim to the ick.

No matter which way I turn my head, I am on the spinning teacups at Disney World. There is no escape …

The ick has found me and plans to keep me hostage …

This is what I get for going to see family in Huntsville when I was warned that there was a virus in the air. I decided I was invincible and now I am praying to the porcelain gods for the next 24 hours … at least.

I have had several people ask for an update on my cousin’s injuries. So, who am I to disappoint my loyal readers?

Andy is doing awesome! He recently moved to Virginia to start his internship at Virginia Tech.

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The thought process: I am mad at myself over a recent purchase of a video camera I did not need. Anyone want to buy it? I got it half price. It is really nice.

As much as I would like to say it isn’t true, I have read my fair share of self help books. Each book I have read starts out with the same general message - learn to love yourself and the rest will come easy. So, the next question on the reader’s mind is - how do I learn to love myself?

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If I animated my dream diary, it would be a very colorful book filled with images of dragons, leprechauns, fairies and dancing hot dogs. Headless chickens would dance on clouds and sing Robert Palmer songs. Frogs would grow wings and fly through the sky slurping up monkeys bathing in my bathtub. Chipmunks would travel through time and eat relish from trees alongside dinosaurs and roaming wilderness beasts.

Yes, it would be very colorful indeed, but that is not the point of this blog …

For minutes of every morning, I have to spend some time returning to reality. Having spent the last hours of my night completely raveled in dreams of terror, I am instantly angry with the people who have haunted my dreams. After 20 or so minutes, I am fully aware of my surroundings and realize that my dreams were in fact only dreams. However, this does not change the fact that I have to apologize to those I may have offended in the 20 minutes when I could not tell reality from fantasy.

Once reality resumes, I return to my normal routine day where imagination plays very little role, and I am forced to think about numbers and results.

A lot of folks wish for more imagination, but not me. Truthfully, I am fearful of mine.

So, back to the numbers and giant babies surfing on business cards holding melting pacifiers and jumping paperclips.

I confess - I am a people watcher! I have tried to quit so many times, but I am unable to kick this nasty habit.

As any good people watcher knows, airports will give you a fix for several days.

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Here is a piece I wrote a year or so back when I was on a normal sleeping schedule. I am slowly returning to this point again and found this an appropriate philosophy to adopt …

Don’t settle for anything less than extraordinary! We are all guilty of settling for comfort, and each of us relive what we could have done differently to make those moments in life more fulfilling.

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