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Confessions of an Insomniac http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com Get ready for an absurd look at the things in life that really just do not matter. Mon, 01 Sep 2014 02:17:15 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0.17 Stupid, stupid LIARS http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2095 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2095#comments Mon, 01 Sep 2014 02:08:15 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2095 Continue reading ]]>   LyingWhy do people lie? What is the point in constructing elaborate stories to cover up truth?

People claim to have many reasons for lying. Some lies are harmless while others can destroy families. Excuses can include shame, guilt, fear, vanity, greed, etc. However, one thing is certain … almost everyone who lies will do it again.

319578-always_lie_lying_nowAre any lies good?

If people can lie about little situations that they term “white lies” then who is to say that they cannot turn around and lie on a larger scale? People who are comfortable stretching the truth are losing touch with their consciences. They create justifications for why they do certain things, and it never appears wrong to them. In fact, when caught in a lie, they often turn it around on the accusers just to avoid scrutiny.

funny-stupid-peopleWithout a filter …

I am told by people close to me that I lack a filter … meaning that my thoughts flow freely out of my mouth without consideration to feelings and tact. I suppose I am brutally honest, but is that a fault? I do not talk behind backs. I tell everyone exactly how I feel at the precise moment that I feel it. Yes, sometimes I crush feelings, but would you rather I lie to your face and talk behind your back like everyone else? And, if I can lie about how your new hairstyle looks, where does the lying stop?

Is having a filter synonymous with liar?

As days go on, I am learning how to control my words better … especially in the professional world where I moonlight as a nurse. I find myself telling obviously crazy patients that they are perfectly normal. Or, creating stories just to get a patient to not create a scene. Am I learning to lie?

I am tired of lies

I feel like the entire world lies to me. I do not know what to believe anymore … who to trust … where to go. I am really feeling lost these days. I feel like the world is full of a bunch of stupid, stupid LIARS. Humans are assholes!

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Who am I? http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1592 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1592#comments Sun, 31 Aug 2014 01:19:21 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1592 Continue reading ]]> alzheimers Imagine waking up in a hospital room full of strangers with all sorts of tubes sticking out of you in various places. Would you be frightened? Would you be okay once you remembered how you got in this predicament in the first place?

What if orientation was impossible?

Lost and Confused SignpostI had a lady with Alzheimer’s the other day. It was sad to watch. She had no idea what was going on. You could calm her down with a soft voice for a moment, but she could not understand words. She was lost, scared. To her, we spoke a foreign language. To us, she strung together unrelated words. Being in the hospital is scary enough without adding another whole dimension of confusion.

Insane in the brain …

More and more people are being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s than ever before. We are living the last of our lives without a mind … forgetting our families, forgetting basic bodily functions, forgetting who we are …

Confusion2What is the solution?

I never want to lose my mind. I can handle saying goodbye to normal bodily functions if it meant I could keep my brain. But tell me … without a mind, what else is there left to live for? Why would anyone want to remain on an Earth they do not even recognize?

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Switching teams http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2080 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2080#comments Wed, 16 Jul 2014 03:16:11 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2080 Continue reading ]]> Baseball_Cheerleaders_6It is official. I am switching teams! I am now batting for the ladies!

Seriously, I wish it was as easy as picking up a new jersey and picking out a cute team name, but unfortunately, I am wired with an attraction to men. It might be better to sit on the bench for a season or 2.

Dating is a tough game …

Especially if you are 35 and living in the South where social pressures dictate that you should be married with 2.5 kids. It forces you to settle and SETTLE I did.

Did this really happen?

I dated a man for over a year. He moved into my house with me after 5 months. The house I was living in did not even belong to me. It was my mother’s second home, and she let me and my boyfriend live there rent free to save money.

evolutionof-manI will not deny that my mother put on the pressure and pretty much forced us into looking for homes. It meant that we had to leave the home she was allowing us to live in and get serious about our relationship. We talked about marriage, children, and all the usual stuff. The only thing missing was a permanent house to call OUR own.

So, we did what any normal couple would do on the road to our future … we put in a bid on a house. The deal was that since we were not married that he would finance the home and put the deed into both of our names. I never realized that he had a problem with this. He never voiced any concerns.

It all goes down from here …

To make a long story short, my parents loaned him thousands of dollars, and he even got money from me. He went to the closing, but he told me that I did not need to be present to sign the deed. I knew this was fishy, but I decided to trust him. Everyone told me something was wrong, but I was in denial.

Two days after the closing he was acting funny. I voiced my concerns to my step father who already knew in his gut that this house was not mine. He confronted the asshole, and he lied and to his face and said my name was on the deed.

Later that evening, I asked him again, and he said that my name was on the deed. He even produced a document that had both of our names and acted like I was crazy for not believing him. Little did I know, this document was the offer letter and not the signed contract.

funny-quotes-about-boys-being-stupid-i0Why? Why would someone do this?

His answer … you were mean to me the last month, and I did not feel loved.

Really? And, you are how old? Why did you not think to talk to me about it? Why did you lie? Why did you even buy the house? Why didn’t you back out before the closing? What were you thinking?

His answer … I didn’t know you were going to break up with me. I had to protect myself.

See why I wish I could switch teams?

Well, asshole, I had to protect myself too. You are history. Enjoy your new house all by your lonesome, and never contact me again. You are not the one. I am no longer settling for a mediocre, lousy lover. I need a real man with a real heart, a real brain who makes me actually feel alive. You are dead to me.

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It’s true http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2072 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2072#comments Tue, 22 Oct 2013 13:25:23 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2072 20131022-082444.jpg

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The brain drain http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1655 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1655#comments Tue, 22 Oct 2013 13:21:36 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1655 Continue reading ]]> Who sucked the life out of me?

After a long day with people, my brain turns to mush … I am completely zapped of energy. It always amuses me when I hear another person say that she is energized by other people. This is not the case with me lately. It seems like the more I am around people, the more I wish to be alone and remove myself from all contact.

I often have good intentions and make plans to be with others. However, I find myself making excuses at the last minute to avoid human contact. What is wrong with me? Am I turning into a recluse? I really hope this is seasonal blues making me want to run and hide from all the life around me. Otherwise, I picked the absolute WRONG profession, because people are EVERYWHERE in a hospital!

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This one is for the boys http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1280 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1280#comments Tue, 22 Oct 2013 13:19:33 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1280 Continue reading ]]> Men are too simple.

It is for that reason alone that I don’t understand them. I get a headache trying to figure them out. I am tired of trying to decipher simplicity only to be left with complication.

It amuses me to no end when a man says he doesn’t get women because we are too complicated. The irony in that statement only brings me back to my original point … men are too simple.

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The lawnmower http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2068 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2068#comments Tue, 22 Oct 2013 13:15:37 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=2068 Continue reading ]]> The soft hum of a lawn mower buzzes in my head reminding me that I will never be completely alone. The need, the desire … to escape … suffocation.

Where can I go to fully experience nothingness? No thoughts, no sounds, no feelings, no emotions … is it possible to ever be completely alone in this world polluted by humans? What can I do to not have thought possess me at every moment of existence?

Why must I be haunted by my own negative existence?

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Human in training http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1531 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1531#comments Thu, 22 Aug 2013 23:22:33 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1531 Continue reading ]]> 20130822-180501.jpgWhat exactly is the proper classification for children? Are they creatures? Monsters? What would you call these miniature little people if they are not quite human?

Most of the time these impressionable young minds are innocent and free from life’s tragedies. Why do we want to turn these little people into full-blown humans anyway? It is time to stop the cycle. Do not allow human training to take place. Keep these creatures young and free from sin forever and ever!

 

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Confessions of a Slacker http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1999 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1999#comments Thu, 22 Aug 2013 04:39:28 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1999 Continue reading ]]> Is it time to update the name of my blog to reflect the real ME?

slackerMeet Jennifer … insomniac AND slacker. Jennifer often forgets that she has a blog. She would love to blame it on insomnia, but the real truth is that Jennifer is a SLACKER!

While Jennifer sits at home staring at a wall, she often thinks about her beloved readers and how disappointed they must feel that she leaves her blog unattended for extended periods of time. During this “thinking” time, Jennifer creates elaborate ideas for blog entries and stories that she would love to tell her readers. She also makes it a point to refer to herself only in the third person to allow her guilt to not fully set in.

Dear readers, please forgive me for my slacker ways. I vow to update my blog more regularly starting today!

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The horrible truth http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1995 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1995#comments Tue, 14 May 2013 05:11:13 +0000 http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=1995 Run for your lives … humans are EVIL!

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