The fear, the humiliation, the excitement, the anticipation, the anxiety …

Armed with a rainbow of emotions, I start school tomorrow. Read more

With all this confusion in Jennifer land, I finally came to a conclusion on what I want to do with my life. Forget nursing … forget journalism … I have decided that I will marry a man who does not mind paying the bills while I sit on my butt all day and write a book. I really think that my purpose in life is to weave an imaginary world for someone else to read. So, do I have any takers? Anyone willing to take care of me?  

Day after day, I swipe my card to gain access to the gym’s exercise equipment. I watch as the familiar name flashes on the computer monitors. The friendly staff smiles and nods to let me know that they are glad to see me. Little do they know that the most intense part of my workout is when they watch me walk uncomfortably through the doors. I keep waiting for the moment of discovery … Read more

Not everyone should be allowed to reproduce …

We should require all human beings to take a mandatory IQ test before they reach parenting age. This IQ test can be part of a routine doctor’s visit for children 10 years and older. Afterall, adults are required to get a tube stuck up their butts when they turn 50, so why not ask our children a few questions to find out if they are eligible candidates for procreation? Read more

I’m tired of hearing these alien abduction stories …

Who do these aliens think they are? Go home to where you came from. I saw E.T. I know that your intentions are not to live the rest of your life on this planet. You only want to show your face to let humans know that you are better than us. It is okay. We already know this. Now go back home. I am tired of power hungry aliens trying to ruin my life on Earth. Read more

Everyone knows a one upper …

This is that annoying girl at work who insists that her life is more important than yours. She attempts to top any experience or problem you have with one of her own. Suddenly, your successes are yanked from the pedastal and tossed aimlessly into the trash bin beneath your desk. Read more

My great great uncle died today at 93 years old. For those of you that know me well, this man meant the world to me. I am sad to see him go, but I know that he lived a long, happy life. I am not really sure what to say except goodbye. I love you, Uncle Gilbert. You will be missed!

I am the conductor, and the people around me are my orchestra. Together we work as a team to create beautiful music. Sometimes my conducting skills lead us into harmony … other times we miss notes and beats.

Every song deserves a chance … Read more